Socializing on Stolen Time
Given that I am an introverted person and the last thing I want to do is leave the comfort of my home to socialize, it is hard for me to speak ill of the wonders of social media. Technology revolutionized an introvert’s ability to carry on friendships without all the things that often get in our way. As much as I love social media and the obvious ways in which it has made our world more connected, even I can acknowledge that in other ways it has pushed us farther apart.
At a restaurant the other night I was shocked to see that at three of the four surrounding tables, all the diners were staring at their smartphone screens rather than talking to one another. They carried on like that for more than thirty minutes! When their food arrived, they stashed their devices at last and engaged in halfhearted conversation, but by then the night was more than half over. We are all more involved in relationships with the screens of our phones than we are with the people closest to us, and to become closer to the people far away we create distance between ourselves and the people who are right here. Every day of our lives we are socializing with our distant relations by way of stolen time.
So how do you enjoy the wonders of technology and social media without jeopardizing your close physical relationships you have built with the people who live in the same environment as you?
Make the effort to unplug and slow down for at least an hour every day. Put your devices on lock down and venture forth without them. When you are in the room with other people deserving of your time and consideration, give them your undivided attention. Make eye contact with them, listen without judgement or expectation, and let them know that you value the time you have with them. Do not let your efforts to get closer to people far away put you farther away from the people who are right here trying to be closer.
In my office I have a coffee cup on my desk that says, “Be Present” with a definition of what it means to be present in your own life and the lives of the people who matter most. As much as I love that technology and social media have allowed me to carry on friendships without any of the things that make them difficult for me, I also know it is important to be present in the room with the people who are there, so I do not miss out on the opportunities to forge more meaningful relationships with them as well.
Social media has tipped the scales in how we conduct our relationships to an unhealthy degree; at some point we must make the effort to but them back in balance.
