From One Millennial to Another: Pull Your Own Wagon!
Millennials are defined as the generation of people born between 1982 and 2002 who grew up and came of age at the turn of the last millennium. Older generations love to rag on Millennials, and so you can imagine my shock a few months ago when I discovered that I am included in that reviled generation of human beings. Although I believe that Millennials are often insulted without reason and that for the most part we are quite misunderstood, I can also admit that I have noticed some alarming trends and tendencies amongst my contemporaries. When you take these unfortunate patterns into consideration, it is no wonder that older generations put us down.
Here is what I have noticed about Millennials that bugs me:
- We are able bodied but often unemployed
- We are too sensitive and too easily offended
- We are not willing to compromise or see things from a different perspective
- We rack up debt without considering the consequences
- We delay adulthood whenever possible
- We refuse to be held accountable
These are learned behaviors; the adults in charge of shaping our lives spent too much time telling us we were inherently special because we exist instead of telling us that we are only special if we go out and make ourselves special in a way that is valuable to other people. So, in some ways, we are catching flack from people who could have prevented all the above; but at the same time, we are the most educated, connected, and capable generation that has ever lived, and we must start taking responsibility for ourselves and the quality of our own lives instead of blaming our circumstances on other people.
I am twenty-nine years old; I attended college, completed my degree, and I pay my student loan on time each month. I am in a stable marriage, and our house and both of our vehicles are in our names, and we make prompt payments on those assets each month as well. We have regular jobs we have held for a long time, and although there is never enough money to make all the ends meet the way we wish, we do our best and make a living that is comfortable enough for the time being. You want to know something crazy? According to recent studies, we are the exception and not the rule for our generation.
That seems absurd, but when I think about some of my contemporaries and their circumstances, I realize that it is true. So many are career college students who jump from job to job and apartment to apartment; they delay adulthood at every turn and they refuse to put down permanent roots anywhere. They are a drain on their aging parents and society, and all they can think about is how their bizarre mode of self-expression is not receiving the validation they desire.
Why aren’t they moving forward and making the steps to become more like the exception and less like the rule of this generation? Because it is hard. It is intolerably difficult. It would be so much easier to live at home, or bounce around from place to place, and take out endless student loans or generate thousands in credit debt with no intention of ever paying any of it back. But when you live in that vicious cycle day in and day out, you never experience any meaningful personal growth.
We live in a society that makes it easy for people to shirk their responsibilities. How often do we hear messages such as, “if you cannot do it yourself, that is okay, we will do it for you”; I think that the spirit of wanting to help others is a wonderful thing, but in doing it all for someone who is struggling, you are preventing them from becoming stronger through that struggle. It has become socially acceptable to give up and let someone else take the extra weight. How did that happen? What a mess we have made for ourselves.
Get A Job; Get Any Job!
You are not going to get your dream job right out of the shoot; you must spend some time as the low man on the totem pole and figure out how to move up within the system. Earning some income is better than earning no income at all. Furthermore, you are more likely to network successfully with a person in your desired field when you are participating in the work force than you would be to do so sitting on your mother’s couch. Also, you must take risks! When it gets difficult, get tough! Have a little faith in yourself and do the right thing. Stash your pride, take that minimum wage job even if it is beneath you, and as soon as you hired set about showing your superiors how valuable you are and before you know it you’ll be running the place.
Practice Tolerance Daily
Do you wake up in the morning and think to yourself, “who’s feelings can I hurt today?” I know you don’t, and neither does anyone else, so stop being so sensitive. If a person does something that rubs you the wrong way, ninety-nine percent of the time it is not personal. It is worthwhile to be upset if a person does something that jeopardizes the life of another person; likewise, it is ridiculous to become outraged because someone stands on the opposite side of the fence from you on an issue. Practice tolerance always in your dealings with other people; don’t let your differences effect your relationships. Furthermore, if someone is bothering you, don’t try to change them! Remove yourself from the situation. Remember, acceptance does not equal approval.
Practice Compassion as Well
Next time you come across someone with different opinions than your own, have a conversation with them instead of slamming them for the things they think. Ask questions, try to understand them; it may not change you, but at the very least you will learn something through discourse. Furthermore, you won’t leave a burnt bridge behind you. People will remember how you make them feel more than they will remember what you think, so even if you think something different, let that person know that you tried to see their side of the coin despite of your dissimilitude.
Live Within YOUR Means
Notice I said within your means, and not within the means of the people who are willing or forced to support you. Part of growing up is learning to control yourself, and that includes your spending habits. Never spend more in a day than you make in a day, and if you are put in a position where you must borrow funds, start paying those funds back as soon as you are able, and pay that balance off as soon as you can. Our national debt is not just a government problem; it is an individual problem as well. If each one of the members of our generation resolved to live debt free, the entirety of our debt issues could become a thing of the past as we move into the roles currently occupied by older generations. Do not try to make yourself feel better by distinguishing between “good debt” and “bad debt”; debt is debt, and it should be paid regardless. Perhaps we are inheriting a debt problem we did not create, but we are not helping right now either. We must do out part by being more responsible with our resources.
Grow Up!
For the love of self-respect, don’t move back in with your mommy. It will be difficult to live on your own, but if you are willing to do the work then you can make it work. Figure out additional forms of income so you can afford your own place, or find some friends you trust and get a place with them. Moving back home should not be the norm! It should be a last resort in the event of personal catastrophe. Furthermore, collect your degree, or your ten million degrees you have earned in the process of refusing to leave college and get a job, and move on with the next phase of your life. You cannot ever get where you wish to be going until you take the steps to stop being where you are. In less confusing terms: you will never become the hot shot in your field that you wish to be unless you stop being a student. You are awesome because you have done the work to be awesome; go out and let other people see how awesome you are as well.
Take Responsibility for The Things You Have Done Wrong
Don’t make excuses, and don’t avoid the consequences; you are not a failure for admitting that you made a mistake, or for submitting to the necessary punishment. In fact, you are a much better person for letting the consequences wash over you and make you clean and whole once again. Sometimes failing is the most positive thing you can do in your life for a couple of reasons; first, it means you took a risk, and second of all, it means that you have a place from which to grow if you allow it to happen. Furthermore, stop making excuses for the bad behavior of other people. You can show compassion for their plight if they land themselves in a bad situation, but you can also encourage them to accept responsibility and do the work to turn whatever it is around. Know that the people who love you will never love you any less for the mistakes that you make, but they may get a little bit miffed if you refuse to accept that you committed wrong.
As much as it is easy to rag on Millennials and only talk about the things that bug us about this unique generation, as I have just done of course, it is important to acknowledge the incredible advances and innovations that this generation has made as well. In sports we have rewritten the record books; in technology, we pushed the boundaries of imagination; in society, we have called for change, acceptance, and tolerance. But we have also had a hand in making a mess of things, and we have to get our poop in a group if we hope to make the world a better place than the one we inherited as we came of age.
My favorite metaphor for the state of our economy and society is that of the person pulling the wagon. At first, a proud person is pulling their own wagon; they feel as though the world is full of possibility and things are so good they are willing to help others find similar success. They notice another person laying on the side of the road with a broken wagon and an air of hopelessness, and because of their compassionate spirit they tell the broken person to climb in the wagon and ride for a while until they are ready to get back on their feet. The broken person realizes that life is much easier riding in the wagon, and before long they have decided they will never leave. One extra person in the wagon is not so bad, but before long the rider has told many others how great it is to hitch a ride in the wagon instead of pulling their own wagon, and that is where the real problems begins. In our world, there are a disproportionate number of people pulling the wagons to the number of people riding in the wagons. It has become so attractive to be a passenger in someone else’s wagon that more and more people want to do it. Before long there will be more people riding in the wagons than there are people pulling them, and what happens then? We all go nowhere.
There are so many good things about Millennials! We see those things in ourselves, and we need to help the rest of the world see those things in us too. Work hard to climb the ladder, and don’t behave as though you are entitled to opportunities you have not earned. Be tolerant of people’s differences, and pick your battles wisely. Even if you don’t agree with someone, ask questions, and try to learn from them; keep in mind they will not remember what you think, only how you made them feel when you spoke to them. Do not be greedy; live within your means! If you do not like your means, figure out how to change them; don’t suck another person dry to have what you want. Don’t be afraid to take the risks associated with growing up; it may be easier to be a student, or a permanent resident of your mommy’s house, but it is more rewarding to strike out on your own. Accept responsibility for the wrongs you commit, not because you must submit to the judgement of others, but because you owe it to yourself to learn from your mistakes. Last, and most important, pull your own damn wagon! Encourage others to do the same.
